Yesterday I didn’t add a post. Not a big deal really, when I began this exercise I never thought that I would be writing one every day. But, I was posting each day for a while until yesterday. No real reason I didn’t write yesterday, I just missed my usual time and the day was busy. It all sounds quite reasonable and legitimate, and yet it weighs a bit heavy on me. The reason is not that I missed a day, the reason is that I have a bit of a perfectionist personality and my self-imposed expectations sometimes leave me exhausted.
I think that we all do that to ourselves sometimes. We are more generous forgiving others than ourselves. We make excuses for others, we ‘beat ourselves up’, we love others, we struggle with self-love. Of course there are times when the opposite is true as well, but I believe that behavior has its own deep seated issues.
You would think that by now, with all of this self-reflection, recognition, and understanding of my personality that I would be able to say, ‘oh, that’s just you wanting everything to be ‘perfect’ again (not that it ever really is, don’t want you to think that), but it’s not that easy.
There are lessons to be learned here. Lessons of letting go, slowing down, acceptance, gentleness, and love. Today I will say, ‘it’s ok that I didn’t post yesterday, and to be honest…..I’m not all that pleased with this one’.
Reflections on the Journey 
Oh I know the feeling. When I started to blog, over 3 years ago now, I used to post daily. I would really suffer in some way if I did not and then I found I could not keep it up.
And today you are not so pleased. I am just thinking of the readings for today. Maybe some respite is in order? Go to the Holy Mountain and eat the rich, juicy food promised by Isaiah and be fed by Jesus.
That is so easy for me to write to you but wow, do I ever have a hard time with it!
Be at peace dear Andie, going where the Lord leads you.
Thank you Fran. Your words give me comfort. I hope you have a great day.
A lot of how we feel has to do with our own perspective. As I read your post today, my first thought was yes, you missed a post yesterday. BUT, the fact that you did provided you with a post today 🙂
That’s a really great point Joanne. Thanks for that.
Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Life is too short to stress about things not worth stressing about. 🙂
You are so right Richard. Life is too short…today I give myself permission to be imperfect. It would come as no surprise to anyone….I’m far from perfect.
oh friend, i know. i am a perfectionist trying to let go, too. sometimes i purposely miss days just so i realize, it’s not the end of the world. 🙂
Great point and a worthwhile exercise….I think I will give it a try. Thanks
I think blogging has its own rhythm . . . every song needs rests. That doesn’t make the song imperfect! I appreciate your honesty!!
Thank you Glenda. You’re very kind. You are right, music would sound as beautiful without the rests. Thanks for that.
What everyone else said. When I started blogging 4 years ago I tried very hard to post daily (taking Sundays off, for the most part). I did pretty well; a few minor exceptions sprinkled in there.
Nowadays I still try for the daily post and I no longer beat myself up when I don’t do it. I am a perfectionist as well and this is hard to do.
And I find it necessary to remind me that I am not perfect; only Christ was perfect.
The rest is just … nothing.
You are so right Kris. Why waste energy on trying to be perfect…now if I can remember that. Yes, Christ is perfect and for that we are most grateful. Thanks.
I am a huge perfectionist, especially when it comes to blogging. I used to post 7 days a week — crazy! Now I rest on the weekends. But I’m still a slave to the 5 days. You know, it’s sort of self-absorbed…like anyone is going to lose any sleep if I miss a single day! Still, I feel the need…like everyone is perched on the edge of their chairs, waiting for my post to hit cyberspace!
I like your thoughts here…clearly they have given me much to think about!
You make me chuckle Michelle, I know exactly what you mean. Thanks so much for your thoughts, we’ll have to work on this together.
I can see myself in this post; I struggle with a perfectionist complex. It is something that I like in me and yet, I fight it.
Yes, lessons to be learned.
Beautiful reflection, thank you for sharing.
And, thank you. I’m beginning to think that blogging and perfectionism are linked….what do you think?
Hi Andie,
I kinda feel the same way you do. I don’t post every day, but I’d like to post at least twice a week. But my busy schedule doesn’t permit it. I have three ideas I’d like to write about before Christmas, and I’m not sure I’ll have the time to do all three. But I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I do wonder that if I let too much time pass, my followers will stop following me. lol … But I hope they are understanding and will be patient.
Thanks for stopping by my photography blog the other day. I wanted to answer your comment about the leaves not being perfect but still beautiful, and that you know people who are not perfect on the outside but are still beautiful. Yes, I know people like that. They have beautiful spirits that God gave them and that shine through.
Blessings,
Judy
I am looking forward to reading about those ideas that you have..but don’t feel pressured. We aren’t going to stop reading your posts, they are too good. I loved those pictures…there is much to learn from nature.
Your post reminded me of a quote I read recently by St. Francis de Sales “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.”
Maybe there is a correlation between blogging and perfectionism–in my most recent post I admit to some pretty lofty expectations for myself–and others…
Glad you posted today! 😉
I love that quote by St. Francis, as I do much of what he has said. Thanks for the comment….I’m off to read yours.
i’m smiling with you here Andie!
I’ve gotten so relaxed about blogging at this point, that I only do it when I have something to say. Even then, probably there are those who wonder why I bothered! 🙂
It’s okay… you’ve got a real gift of expression, so just relax with it and don’t feel obligated. We do tend to brow beat ourselves sometimes, don’t we?
Sometimes I have new ideas going all at once, and stuff that is on my heart to share, and sometimes I can’t think of a thing and feel like a blank slate.
You are doing great!
Thank you so much Sonja, that means a lot because I love your blog. And, I always look forward to your posts.
(((((Andie)))))
I now feel the same way when I don’t read my friends’ blogs every day… I gave up writing every day a while ago. You see, I missed this post yesterday and just finds about it today 🙂
love, claire
Hi Andie, I do enjoy stopping by and reading your posts. They always give me much to think about. I love what Joanne said, the fact that you missed a post gave you inspiration for another post. I’m terrible myself at posting regularly but I do enjoy reading what everyone else is saying.