Where would I be???

I took the day today to visit an aunt in a nursing home.  I watched her as she smiled her angelic smile when I fed her a teaspoon or two of ‘mush’.  My heart was breaking to see this once vibrant aunt confined to a bed, wasting away.  Not a word of complaint was uttered, just a slight shrug of her shoulders and a ‘what can you do’ look in her eyes.  Where would I be if I didn’t believe that soon she will be feasting at our Lord’s Banquet and dancing the night away?

I watched as her 92 year old husband walked in pushing his walker, holding the little lunch box in his hand that he packed for himself this morning.  I saw him open it and take our some crackers, a few slices of swiss cheese, a chocolate bar and a dish of soup.  My heart broke when he dropped the soup and it spilled all over the floor.  Where would I be if I didn’t believe that soon he will not be struggling anymore, but running and laughing with joy?

I brought my 86 year old mother with me, it’s her sister that we visited.  I watched as she gazed upon her older sister remembering that her sister was always the ‘fighter’, the strong one, the one there to help others.  I watched as my own mom shuffled along, barely able to walk the hall.  Where would I be if I didn’t believe that she will be with Mary, our Mother, soon and that heaven will be worth it all?

I watch the news and I see Dr. Pettit have to sit in a courtroom each day and listen over and over again to the horrific events that happened to him and his family.  Where would I be if I didn’t believe that Jesus is sitting next to him giving him the strength to get up each day?

Where would I be if I didn’t have my faith?  I can’t even imagine…..as difficult as this is, and it is so painful, I know, without a doubt, that there is so much more.  And, I am sure, that in the end, we will see that it is all worth it.  The pain and the suffering will melt away when the veil is lifted.  We will be face-to-face with the Divine and we will know joy that we cannot even imagine.

Where would I be?  I don’t know, but I do know that I am humbled and grateful to have this gift, the gift of faith that helps me to live each day and look at life as a journey to an ecstatic destination.

5 thoughts on “Where would I be???

  1. Yes, yes indeed, where would we be? I wonder that myself and then I say a prayer of thanks. A chill sweeps over me as I think….what if I didn’t know Him? I just can’t imagine living this life without the Lord walking with me. Thank you for a beautiful post! Lori

  2. Andie,
    This is a beautiful post. I watch my own parents grow more and more frail each passing year and it lifts my heart when I imagine them pain free and young again. Life without the Lord would be unimaginable.

  3. I’m thinking of the song that says, “It will be worth it all when we get home.” That doesn’t make the suffering any easier, but it certainly gives us hope. I can so identify with your thoughts.

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