I took the day today to visit an aunt in a nursing home. I watched her as she smiled her angelic smile when I fed her a teaspoon or two of ‘mush’. My heart was breaking to see this once vibrant aunt confined to a bed, wasting away. Not a word of complaint was uttered, just a slight shrug of her shoulders and a ‘what can you do’ look in her eyes. Where would I be if I didn’t believe that soon she will be feasting at our Lord’s Banquet and dancing the night away?
I watched as her 92 year old husband walked in pushing his walker, holding the little lunch box in his hand that he packed for himself this morning. I saw him open it and take our some crackers, a few slices of swiss cheese, a chocolate bar and a dish of soup. My heart broke when he dropped the soup and it spilled all over the floor. Where would I be if I didn’t believe that soon he will not be struggling anymore, but running and laughing with joy?
I brought my 86 year old mother with me, it’s her sister that we visited. I watched as she gazed upon her older sister remembering that her sister was always the ‘fighter’, the strong one, the one there to help others. I watched as my own mom shuffled along, barely able to walk the hall. Where would I be if I didn’t believe that she will be with Mary, our Mother, soon and that heaven will be worth it all?
I watch the news and I see Dr. Pettit have to sit in a courtroom each day and listen over and over again to the horrific events that happened to him and his family. Where would I be if I didn’t believe that Jesus is sitting next to him giving him the strength to get up each day?
Where would I be if I didn’t have my faith? I can’t even imagine…..as difficult as this is, and it is so painful, I know, without a doubt, that there is so much more. And, I am sure, that in the end, we will see that it is all worth it. The pain and the suffering will melt away when the veil is lifted. We will be face-to-face with the Divine and we will know joy that we cannot even imagine.
Where would I be? I don’t know, but I do know that I am humbled and grateful to have this gift, the gift of faith that helps me to live each day and look at life as a journey to an ecstatic destination.