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Yesterday I found myself saying (to myself), ‘how do I get myself involved with these things?’  I was put in a situation where I was asked to do something that I really didn’t want to do and now I have to find a way out of it – through honesty and kindness.

I have been here before, and truth be told, I have often done the task and then gotten angry with myself afterwards for not being stronger, more courageous, or forceful with my feelings.  

The fault doesn’t lie with the people asking, why not ask the person who never says no? The problem is with me, my quick ‘yes,’ and then my regret afterwards.  

So, why does this spiral keep happening?  Perhaps I should channel the energy that I use for beating myself up and use it for analyzing the situation.  

I’m trying very hard these days to become more self aware, more reflective.  Situations like these will always come up in life – yes, the spiral continues, but each time the circle comes round, we are at a higher place.  The spiral does continue upward (or downward – no).  So, with some inner work, I will be able to pause (so important to do), reflect – is this constricting or does it bring me freedom, and respond in a life giving way to all involved.

Kind of reminds me of this:

All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’….  Matt 5:37