I haven’t’ posted for a bit because I’ve been with my Mom for her last few weeks . About two weeks ago her earthly journey ended. Before I continue, let me acknowledge a few things:
- Yes, she was 93 years old and lived a full life
- Yes, she was in a nursing home with dementia for the past two years
- Yes, I DO believe with every fiber of my being that she is in the loving arms of God
- Yes, I am thankful for the time we had together
BUT, she’s still my Mom, and I hurt – I’m happy for her, but sad for me.
I don’t like ‘goodbyes.’ Even if it is a healthy goodbye (saying goodbye to something or someone who you need to walk away from), there is a part of you that is left behind.
There is a void in my heart that no one else will ever be able to fill. My Mom was my best friend, my biggest fan and supporter, the person who was always there for me, the person who loved me no matter what.
On some level, deep inside, I think I knew that her health was declining even before the visible signs began to appear. The last month or so, I just wanted to sit with her, many times in silence, and gaze at her beautiful face. Subconsciously, I needed to etch every detail of her face into my heart. She was, to me, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen
And so……I cry, I mourn, and…..I remember
And…..I take comfort, knowing where she is and that someday we will be together again for all eternity!
Love is stronger than death
My love for my Mom does not end with the fact that I can’t see, touch or hear her anymore. It does not end with her death. It does not end…..
My Mom (high school graduation) – now…..wouldn’t you want to gaze at her beautiful face?