I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have given this advice to people. The problem was…..I didn’t take it myself!
I am a helper, a fixer, and at times, that translates to an enabler.
Until recently, I had a narcissist in my life. I am normally not one to label or put people in boxes, but sometimes the description of a term fits so well that you have to go there. (I’m really trying to not use those platitudes like…..if the shoe fits….)
This person, who shall remain nameless, was always taunting, “How could they do this to me?,” “Why does this happen to me?,” and the famous “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!” (Don’t you just hate people who are perpetual victims????? More about that later) And I was always there, consoling with ‘You can’t take it personally, it’s their problem not yours, you can’t control what others say or do…..’
I became the villain that did something or said something. And then, my eyes were opened! I walked away from this person and it has been a year of deep reflection and analysis to realize what happened in the nine years we worked together. And this past year has been difficult but pure grace! Forgive me one platitude…..