Facing a difficult day….

I was absolutely bindsided yesterday by a conversation with a co-worker, acutally someone on my staff.  She said some things that were completely untrue about another member of my staff.  I listened because I value her opinion and I know that her feelings are real, but they are wrong.  I don’t mean to sound unkind or closed, but she was way off base with her comments about her co-worker.

I felt her pain because I care for her so deeply.  I tried to ask her for specific examples to support what she was saying but she refused to give any.  As I thought about the conversation later, I became a little angry because she didn’t ‘play fair’, and yet I care enough to keep trying to sort things out.

I want to ‘hear’ her, I want to make things better, I want peace but I don’t know how to accomplish it.  At the end she said that she just wanted to ‘move on’ and seemed fine after the conversation, but how can you move on when you want something to change and I don’t know what it is or how to change it.

I don’t mean to sound so cryptic, it’s really not about the details of the event, it’s more about feeling someone else’s pain and not knowing what to do about it, because cause of the pain seems to be an illusion.

I have prayed for her and will continue to do so.  I will pray for the person that she felt wounded by.  I will lift all of this up to God because I don’t have a clue…but….I do know that I am not looking forward to this day.

I have a feeling that she may come in today and act as though this bomb never exploded and then I will have to decide whether to address it or let it go.  This is a tough one…..

12 thoughts on “Facing a difficult day….

  1. I have run into this problem many times working in a supervisor position in a small shop. Way too much drama at times. The sorting out part may be the worst of it, because I have to then suspend my feelings about the whole affair. We’re in the middle of one of these ‘blowups’ right now, so believe me, I know what your going through. Pray for guidance on top of all the other prayers. k

  2. it’s more about feeling someone else’s pain and not knowing what to do about it, because cause of the pain seems to be an illusion. Hmmm, Andie, this describes so well so many situations…

    For her the situation was real… possibly due to a predisposition that she has.

    What makes you think that the other person could not have done what the first said she had done (don’t tell me, I just wonder).

    For having been in great pain and having had a friend who stayed with me, I know how priceless it is to have such a friend. So often pain is scary to bystanders. Not being scared is already a grace.

    Sending you my prayers for your difficult day. Blessings on all involved.

    1. Thanks Claire, I do care for her and for the other involved. I’m sure that it will work itself out….I know you didn’t want an answer but I witnessed the account she spoke of. Perception is real and we must value that…

  3. Not knowing the details, I would let it go, trusting that if she needed it to be otherwise, she’d let you know. If she’s okay with letting it go, then it’s something in the past to be learned from and grow wiser because of.

  4. Sending prayers for wisdom and healing for all in this situation. It is a hard one. I guess when I consider this from a supervisory point of view, I wonder if there is any way to have the person speak directly to the other person… That is usually the best, but often the hardest thing.

    I guess that my heart says that sometimes we react and feel real pain but that what precipitates is often old stuff. For example, I know that I blew up at someone yesterday for no rational reason, but that an old personal issue surfaced and collided with something that this person said to me. I have apologized, but I did blow up. It was clear to me with immediacy why I got so upset, but I know that many times feelings lead the way and no wisdom gets in. So who knows what really happened or why.

    1. I think that you are right on Fran. I feel as though there is more going on with her and I want to show her my support and love. It’s important and she deserves it…thanks for putting it in perspective

  5. The older I get the more I realize that everyone has their own truth. Maybe this stems from personality, maybe it stems from life experiences or past hurts, but their truth is so real to them.

    What I see here is your compassion, you want to understand because you care.

    I pray that you find the wisdom you seek.

    God bless

    1. Thank you DG and I totally agree with you. We are shaped by so many things and you are right, ‘Their truth is so real to them.’

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