I love the Psalms. I love the range of emotions that are splashed across the pages. If I’m angry, sad, grateful, want my enemies slaughtered, etc., I can find a Psalm to match it. To me, these are wonderful examples of real feelings, feelings spilled out from David, and others to God. The ‘real’ emotions that live in the hearts and souls of all of us. I read the Psalms slowly and when finished, begin again.
I read the Gospels that way as well and each time I go through them, something, many things, pop out at me. Today I began Luke’s Gospel and I was struck by the encounter of Gabriel and Mary in a new way. I have always wondered about the response given by Zachariah verses Mary. They both seem to question, and yet Zachariah was made mute for not trusting, and Mary was given a gentle explanation….hmmm…well, another example that God reads hearts, you know, don’t judge…
But today, these words struck me, (LK 1: 28-30) “Upon arriving, the angel said to her: “Rejoice, O highly favored daughter! The Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women.” She was deeply troubled by his words, and wondered what his greeting meant.” Deeply troubled??? I would think that if an angel appeared to me and said those words, I would dance for joy, and yet Mary, filled with Grace, blessed among women, favored daughter was deeple troubled. What does that say?
God’s presence in our lives, his will, his ways can be sometimes troubling, we can question, we can be confused, we can share our inmost cares and concerns, it’s OK, it’s real. The important thing is that we continue the conversation, we talk, we process, we pray. We may not understand at the moment, we may never understand in this lifetime, but we trust….and at the end may our words be the words of Mary that day, the words of Jesus in the Garden, ‘They Will Be Done.’