Would you rather…..

I have a little book of ‘would you rather’ questions.  I use it with the teens, they love to answer these.  Some of them are very silly, some make you think.  I stumbled upon this one…

‘Would you rather know what is going to happen in your future….or….go back and change something in your past?’

Well?

For me the answer took no thought at all, but after I answered it, I began to really think.  I said that I would rather know what is going to happen in my future.  I began to think….how blessed I am that I didn’t have such a horrible childhood that I wouldn’t want to change it.  Of course, there are some things that I could change, but then I think of all of the children who are abused in some way, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and I thank God.  I think of children who have no food, no home, no parents, who live in a world of torment and turmoil, and after I offer prayers for them, I thank God.  I think of my own family and friends who have grown up in homes where children were not wanted, valued or loved.  These people would probably select the ‘change the past’ choice, and rightly so.

So, by choosing the ‘know the future’ option what am I saying about trust?  No matter how much I talk about surrender and letting go, I still go for that ‘I want to know’ choice.  I still want my nightlight as I venture into the darkness.  I love the stories about ‘letting go’, step off the cliff and you will be caught or sprout wings, etc. but when I am standing at that edge, I want to see how big those arms are that promise to catch me.

And, the funny part is, I am battling against myself.  The reality is that we don’t know the future.  It’s a fun game to play, but that’s all it is.  No amount of wanting, worrying or fearing is going to give me a crystal ball.  Sooner or later it does become a matter of trust, and it goes beyond ‘feeling’ to choice.  I must choose to take that step into the darkness and trust.  Trust.

12 thoughts on “Would you rather…..

  1. Hm, if I could do either, I’d choose to go back. But not so much to change circumstances, but rather to go back with the wisdom I have today to better understand myself and others in earlier years.

    1. I think there is a saying that goes something like ‘youth is wasted on the young???’ – yes, there is much wisdom that comes from maturing, but you’ll never convince the teens of this!

  2. It seems the more decades that are added to my life span, the more and further I am able to “go back,” at least in memory. My past has both big ups and big downs. In going back in memory, I don’t change what happened, but I change now, in my attitude about what it all means in the larger scheme of things. Time is a sort of leveler.

  3. Reminds me of the old hymn . . . “many things about tomorrow I don’t seem to understand. But I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand.”

  4. Strange, Andie. I neither want to know the future nor want to change the past. The older I get, the softer the edges of my past get. At this point, I look at death in the future and am enjoying the process of getting there.
    Neat question though.
    Blessings.

  5. Christ knew His future. Every detail of it. What is to happen and how it would happen. And He lived with it every moment of His life; and at the end … He went through it all just for us.

    Would we really be able to live with ourselves if we knew what is to happen to us?

    God bless.

  6. I don’t want to know my future. But I sure wish I could change some of my past. But if I did that, I suppose I wouldnt be the person I am today. Who knows? I guess that’s why humans can’t interrupt the time-space continuum.

    Bad enough James Kirk did it as often as he did. 😉

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