The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz was a small book that was published in 1997. It is considered a ‘wisdom book’ and describes Four Agreements and if you are able to incorporate these into your life, you will be changed for the better. I struggle with one of them. The book elaborates on the Four, but here they are:
1. Be impeccable with your word (agree)
2. Don’t take anything personally (???)
3. Don’t make assumptions (agree)
4. Always do your best (agree)
Ruiz really goes into great depth when speaking of these and I certainly don’t want to give him any disservice, but I have trouble with #2. While I think that it is of great value to try to understand why people say and do what they do, sometimes it is important to take things ‘personally’ because there may be an invitation to change hidden in a comment or action.
Often times comments are made that can cut like a knife and it may be as simple as someone having a bad day and being in a bad mood, or perhaps, I am having a ‘sensitive’ day. But by completely dismissing words said, I may be somewhat flippant. The words may not injure me, but sometimes they should. Sometimes I need that ‘wake-up’ call.
Perhaps, for me, that Agreement should be: Think about it, reflect on it, pray with it, and offer it to God. Ask for his wisdom…allow him to heal, to teach and then let it go. Sometimes we grow from the beautiful words of others, and sometimes we grow through the words that cause us pain – an arrow through the ego, so to speak.